Of Arrows and Curses
by TrinityTheSheDevil
Summary: Aragorn, Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir accidently tick off a Wizard. The Wizard put a curse on them. Do they survive? Chapter 7 Added
1. Default Chapter

Title: Of Arrows and Curses  
Author: TrinityTheSheDevil  
Rating: PG 13-ish  
Summary: This story is MOST DEFINITELY AU. For one: Elrond doesn't have a wife in this fic. Nada attachments. :D And two: nothing that happens in this fic could possibly happen in a real LOTR universe! LOL. Okay, on with summary. Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas all go on a hunting trip. When something goes wrong, they manage to tick off a wizard, and have a curse put upon them! Will they survive?  
Archive: Just ask!! :D  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTRs. I own ~nothing~. Although I really wish I did. REALLY wishing I did. Perhaps I could buy Aragorn from Tolkien? *pout* Or not.   
  
Ah yes, one more thing! Thank you, Zimbing, for helping me with the "spell" in chapter two!! :D :D :D   
  
Day One! -   
  
Aragorn looked over at his companions as they closed in on their prey. After being cooped up because of the rainstorm for the past week, Elrond had finally ordered them out of his house. For some reason, their Ada could not put up with the four of them for more than a few days at a time. Aragorn could not think of a reason why, since he, his brothers, and Legolas never directly involved Elrond in their pranks. Well, unless you count the fire incident.......or the red ants......or the chicken. Aragorn chuckled over that. The chicken incident was something he would never forget, and he doubted the rest of the elves in Rivendell would stop talking about it any time soon.  
  
So, having nothing to do, the four of them decided to go on a small hunting trip. Their food stock was getting on low anyway, but not so low as to have a full hunting party.  
  
Hearing a small whistle, Aragorn looked up as his brother pointed to the deer in the clearing. Elladan was motioning for Aragorn to take the shot.  
  
Grinning to himself, Aragorn brought his bow up, and aimed for the deer's heart. What he didn't notice was a squirrel slowly making its way up the inside of his pants leg.  
  
At the same time Aragorn was going to let go of the arrow, the squirrel bit the tender skin of his leg. Screaming like a banshee, he accidentally let the arrow fly. The arrow had veered off course, and the four of them heard a yelp and a muffled "thud".  
  
"OW! OW! OW! OW!" Aragorn danced around beating his pants, as the squirrel rolled out dazed and chittering at him angrily.  
  
Just as Aragorn was about to strangle the squirrel, his brother yelled at him to follow them to where the arrow had flown.  
  
"Aragorn, come!" Elladan yelled as Aragorn had taken out his sword and was pointing it towards the small animal.  
  
Growling to himself, Aragorn followed his brothers while rubbing the bite mark on his leg. The squirrel would pay for that if he ever saw him again.  
  
"Estel, I think you shot someone!" Legolas said, marching over to him.  
  
Aragorn paused and looked up at his friend. Forgetting the squirrel, he ran ahead towards where they heard the sound.  
  
Arriving at a small patch of trees, Aragorn spotted an old man with a flowing white beard leaning heavily against a tree. His arrow was sticking from the mans leg.  
  
"Oh no." Aragorn rushed over to the man to help him, all the while cursing himself for the accident.  
  
The man looked up as he heard Aragorn running towards him.  
  
"I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't mean for this to happen. It was an accident, you see, me and my brothers were hunting, and there was this evil squirrel-"  
  
"BE SILENT!" The old man yelled. This human rambled on worse than a hobbit.  
  
Aragorn snapped his mouth shut at the loud command from the angry man. Come to think of it......the old guy looked like Gandalf a bit. He had long flowing white robes, long white hair, and a white beard. He also carried a staff like Gandalf.   
  
Aragorn was jerked from his thoughts when he heard a familiar ripping sound. It was the sound of an arrow being pulled from flesh. His butt hurt just thinking of it again.   
  
He started to walk forward again when a white light surrounded the man, and brightened so much that none of the four could look upon him.  
  
When the light finally faded, Aragorn lowered his hands from shielding his eyes, and gasped. The arrow wound was gone, as was the blood that was covering the robes.  
  
"You're..you're....you're....-" Aragorn's eyes widened.  
  
"....a wizard!" Legolas cried.  
  
"Yes, that I am. Now, which one of you shot me?!" The wizard advanced on them  
  
Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas all backed away and pointed at a baffled Aragorn.  
  
"I...it...I...er....it was an accident! I swear, that evil little squirrel ran up my-"  
  
"SILENCE!" The wizard yelled again, causing Aragorn to jump back into his brother Elladan, who shoved the human forward.  
  
Aragorn gulped as he took in the angry wizard. This was NOT good. There were a few people in Middle Earth you should not make angry, and they were your parents, your mentors, and wizards. So far in Aragorn's short life, he had accomplished the first two. Now, he had provoked a wizard. Swallowing hard again, he only hoped his father could undo whatever spell the wizard inflicted upon him.  
  
"Wait just a second. It WAS an accident! He did not mean to shoot you, and besides, he had no way of knowing you were anywhere around here!" Legolas jumped up to Aragorns defense.  
  
The wizard turned to glare at Legolas, then at Elladan and Elrohir.  
  
"So...you were all hunting together?" He asked.  
  
"Uhh....yeah.." Legolas slowly backed away again. Aragorn was a big boy, he could defend himself.   
  
"Uh huh. Well, young ones, I will teach you a lesson you will never forget!" The wizard raised his staff, and started mumbling a bunch of words that none of the four could make out.  
  
When the wizard finished, he lowered the staff, and laughed lightly. "Well, I bid you good day, fare thee well." And disappeared in a poof of smoke.  
  
"What just happened?" Elladan asked, checking himself over for anything unusual.  
  
"I have no idea. Maybe we should......leave....incase he comes back." Legolas said, also checking himself over, and making sure he still had his hair. Valar forbid anything should happened to his perfect hair.  
  
"Right." Aragorn took off in the direction of the horses, with the three elves trailing after him.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn sighed in relief as Rivendell came into view. He was worried they would meet the wizard on their way back.  
  
"What do you think he did to us?" Legolas said from Aragorns side.   
  
"I don't think did anything. I think he was just trying to scare us." Elladan turned a bit so he could see the others faces.  
  
"I don't know. I did shoot him after all. He's a wizard, he wouldn't have done nothing. We know that much from Gandalf and the shoe incident." Aragorn scratched his chin. He knew the wizard did SOMETHING, he just had to figure out what.  
  
"I would be less worried about the wizard, and more worried about what we're going to tell Ada. We have no deer with us after all, he will begin to think that we were up to something." Elrohir looked at the others. HE wasn't telling Elrond, that was for sure.  
  
"Aragorn can explain. It's his fault we have no catch, after all."   
  
"I agree." Legolas snickered a bit at the horrified expression on Aragorns face.   
  
"Now wait just a minute! It was NOT my fault, it was that bloody squirrel. That thing's evil I tell you, pure evil!" Aragorn said.  
  
"And do you actually thing Ada will believe that?" Elladan laughed. He felt sorry for any squirrels that got in Aragorns way for the next few weeks...or months.  
  
"No..." Aragorn mumbled.  
  
"Precisely."   
  
The conversation trailed off as they entered the stables, and put the horses up. For Aragorn, it was going to be a long night.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"A.....squirrel..you say?" Elrond arched an eyebrow while watching his youngest son squirm under the piercing gaze of his father.  
  
"Yes. An evil squirrel." Estel mumbled.  
  
"Uh huh. So, after the squirrel....bit you.....you decided to come home and not continue hunting?" Elrond could barely contain his laughter.   
  
"Well, it was getting late, so we figured we'd better head home before you got worried."   
  
"Really." Elrond said, not believing a word of it. Since when did they care how much Elrond worried? Whatever happened, he knew he would not find out at the moment. Perhaps he could wiggle it from Legolas later.   
  
"Well, since you've had a...busy day....why don't you go ahead and get some sleep."  
  
"Yes Ada." Aragorn quickly walked out of the room, and headed for his bed. He had a nagging feeling that his father knew something was up, but he was glad that his father didn't press him for information. Ada would be seriously angry if he knew that Aragorn had accidentally shot someone. A wizard, no less.  
  
Flopping down into the bed, Aragorn sighed and drifted off towards the dream realm. He couldn't shake the feeling that the wizard HAD done something to him, but it was no use thinking over it. It would most likely only leave him more confused.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Bwahahahahahahhaha! It's the end of chapter one! Like it? Flames will be used to light Aragorn's ass on fire when I'm feeling ~very~ evil. ;) Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Aragorn. But it'd be funny to watch him running around trying to put his ass out. *gets attacked by a plot bunny* ....damnit....... 


	2. Chapter Two

Same disclaimer applies here.......damnit.......  
  
Day Two -   
  
Aragorn groaned as his mind slowly began to wake up. Blinking, he waited until the room came into focus and rolled over onto his back. Raising a hand to scratch his chest, he paused when his fingers met something soft. Jumping up from bed, he yanked his shirt off and looked in the mirror.  
  
His jaw dropped and hit the floor so hard it popped. Eyes bulging, he looked downwards....and screamed.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Running around the room, and waving his arms madly, Aragorn smacked into the side of the door and fell unconscious onto the floor.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Legolas sleepily dragged himself out of bed. Whoever thought that all elves were bright and chipper as soon as they woke up, were nuts! Elves needed time, and caffeine, for their brains to kick start too. Not that he'd be letting Aragorn in on that little fact.  
  
Unzipping his pants to change, he bent over to pull them off. As he was bending over, he noticed a certain, important, part of his body was missing.  
  
Falling backwards and landing square onto his butt, he took a few deep breaths. He had to be seeing things. Jumping back up, he quickly stripped out of all his clothing and looked at his body in the mirror. Looking down again, he promptly fainted.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elladan raised one hand to block out the sunlight streaming through his windows. He *hated* mornings. He'd much rather sleep in the day. Sighing and resigning himself to the fact that he wasn't gonna get back to sleep anyway, he stood up and threw his pillow over at his twins bed.  
  
A muffled "yelp" sounded, followed by the pillow being returned to sender. It found it's mark and Elladan turned to glare at his brother......but stopped.  
  
"Elrohir...you...you're...you........."  
  
Apparently his brother saw the same thing, for Elrohir was sitting there with his mouth making motions like a fish out of water. It would have been quite funny, had Elladan not been seeing his brother......like that.  
  
They both jumped up and screamed at the same time.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Pointing towards each other, unable to form coherent words, the both paused, and fainted onto each other.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrond sighed blissfully as he drifted further into his dream. He was on a beach, surrounded by beautiful elf females, who were all wearing dresses that were cut off above their knees. Lying back on the sand, the sunlight dancing upon his face, he opened his mouth as one of the elves fed him grapes. His hair gently floated around, as another fanned him with a giant leaf.   
  
He jumped out of his skin when he heard the cry of a banshee, and turned around to face his enemy.......when he fell off the bed.  
  
Muttering to himself, he vowed to strangle the one who awoke him. Ah well, he was the Lord of Rivendell...perhaps he could arrange a date with a few elves. Making a mental note to practice his pick-up lines, he pulled on a robe and went in search of the scream that violently yanked him from the dream land.  
  
Hearing another scream, and another, and another, he picked up his pace. Something was happening, that was for sure.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn awoke a few minutes later, and quickly got dressed. However the heck.....this....had happened, his Ada could fix it. He hoped.   
  
Pulling on a shirt and pants, he ran into the hallway, where he met up with Legolas.  
  
"Aragorn..you..you're......you...." Legolas gaped.  
  
"You are too!" Aragorn probably would have laughed at Legolas, had not the same thing been done to him.  
  
They turned as the twins skidded into the hallway with them.  
  
"ARAGORN, LEGOLAS! WE'RE......" Elladan paused as he got a look at the two.  
  
"So're we!" Aragorn pointed to his chest.  
  
"What is going on in here?! Can't an elf get a decent sleep for-" Elrond walked in and paused. "Oh Valar."   
  
Elladan quickly leaned over to catch his father as he fainted.   
  
This was just getting better and better.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"-think the wizard.."  
  
"-Ada can turn us back?"  
  
"-Coming around..."  
  
Elrond fuzzily heard the voices floating around him. He felt the cold stone under his back and wondered why he was lying on the floor.  
  
Blinking several times, he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Aragorn hovering over him. Taking a good look at his foster son, he realized with a growing horror that this wasn't a dream.  
  
His sons, and Legolas.......were female!  
  
"Thank the Valar, Ada. You suddenly fainted, and we were getting a bit worried." Aragorn said.  
  
"Estel......Elladan............WHAT HAPPENED?!"  
  
Aragorn looked down at the breasts that had suddenly appeared overnight.  
  
"We think it's the wizards doing." Legolas sighed, and straightened his clothing.  
  
"THINK?! Of course it is! How else would we have these......abominations?!" Elladan screamed.  
  
"You didn't say that when we saw that maiden bathing in the creek the other day!" Elrohir snickered.  
  
"Bathing in the creek?!" Elrond turned to glare at the twins, who shrugged and gave him their most innocent look.  
  
"It's not my fault that her parents didn't raise her to bathe in privacy Ada!" Elladan said.  
  
"We'll talk of this later." Elrond growled, then thought back to what Legolas had said.   
  
Double taking, he looked at the four of them. "WHAT WIZARD?!"  
  
"Uhhh......" Aragorn turned to glare at Legolas, who shrugged.  
  
"What......did you manage to do this time, Estel?!" Elrond gritted his teeth.   
  
"Why do you automatically assume it's me? It could have easily been Elladan or Elrohir!" Aragorn looked hurt.  
  
"Because.......you were there."   
  
"Oh. Umm.....in that case, Iaccidentlyshotawizardandheputacurseonus." Aragorn mumbled.  
  
Not exactly believing what he heard, Elrond said, "What?!"  
  
Jabbing Legolas in the ribs for laughing at him, Aragorn turned back to Elrond. "Well, this evil little runt of a squirrel ran up my pants leg and bit me when I was about to fire on a deer. I accidentally let the arrow fly, and it hit this wizard. He er.....got a bit mad...and put a curse on us."  
  
"But why all four of you? You were the one who shot him, Estel."   
  
Elladan paused from teasing his brother and looked back at Aragorn. "Hey, he's right! Estel was the one who shot him! Not us!" Elladan glared at Aragorn, who shrank back behind Legolas.  
  
"Guilty by association, I guess." Legolas shrugged at Elrond.  
  
"Anyway, can you turn us back Ada?" Elrohir helped Elrond off the floor.  
  
Elrond sighed and took a good look at them. Rubbing his temples, he went through a list of simple spells that might work against this sort of curse. Mentally marking off each one that he knew wouldn't work, he finally thought of one. One that MIGHT work. And that was a VERY slim chance.  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Maybe?! What kind of answer is that?! We're FEMALE!" Elladan screamed.   
  
"Well, not complete females. Just the.........vital.....anatomy...parts." Aragorn wisely shut up as Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas turned to glare at him.  
  
"Maybe, as in I don't know if this spell will work. I found it in an old book that Gandalf left here. The spell itself sounds....preposterous! I have never tried it, and I heavily doubt it will change you back." Elrond crossed his arms. He just wished he could find out which wizard did this to them. Then perhaps, he could have Gandalf turn them back.   
  
"Well, it's our only chance. I say we take it." Elladan said, and the others nodded in agreement.  
  
"Fine then. Come along, I'll explain to you what exactly you have to do." Elrond hoped this would work. He didn't want to be the one explaining to any other that happened along exactly why his sons were female. Or Thranduil, if he found out Legolas was not the son he remembered.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrohir looked at his Ada as if he were a loony. The "spell" didn't even sound like a spell! It sounded as if someone had gotten drunk and wrote down a bunch of mumbo jumbo, claiming it to be a spell.  
  
"I'm NOT doing that! No way!" Elladan said, rejecting the idea of going through that humiliation just for something that MIGHT work.  
  
"I say we try it on Aragorn first." Legolas spoke up from his seat behind the twins.   
  
Aragorn started, and looked at his friend. "Oh no, now wait just a minute! Ada himself said that there was a slim chance that it would work anyway! I'm not doing that! There is no way in Middle Earth you are going to get me to run.....through..." Aragorn broke off as his brothers stood up, and started walking towards him. Looking to his father for help, he saw Elrond chuckling quietly and knew he would not get any help from him. Turning towards Legolas, he knew he was in trouble when he saw his friend walking towards him menacingly.   
  
"Now come on brothers, Legolas, be sensible about this! I'm sure there are other things that Ada could do, that could change us back!" Aragorn wasn't dumb. He knew exactly when to retreat. And this was one of those times.   
  
Turning and taking off, he ran through the halls intent on getting out before his brothers could use him as a test dummy for the spell.  
  
Turning a corner, he accidentally knocked over a young woman who was carrying a basket of fine silks. Apologizing and helping her back up, he took off again.  
  
Bursting through the door, he smiled. He was almost free.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elladan and Elrohir pointed towards the way Aragorn had taken off in, telling Legolas to follow him. Knowing every passageway in their fathers palace, they both ran the most direct way to the exit in which Aragorn would most likely make his escape at.  
  
Arriving right in front of the door, they waited for their brother to run out.   
  
A few seconds later, Elladan could hear his brothers light footsteps making their way towards the door. Sticking his leg out, he smiled at Elrohir.  
  
The door burst open and Aragorn came flying out. Not noticing his brother, Aragorn's foot got tangled with Elladan's leg, and he went tumbling down the steps.  
  
Not giving him a chance to get up, the twins pounced on Aragorn and hauled him up.  
  
"Aw come on. Can't we talk about this? What did I ever do to you?" Aragorn pouted.  
  
Elrohir glared and pointed towards his chest.  
  
"Ah." Aragorn sighed. He looked up when Legolas ran through the door, looking winded.  
  
"What took you so long, Legolas? You shouldn't have been that far behind Estel here." Elladan asked.  
  
"I had an unfortunate delay. It seems someone bumped into the seamstress, and I slipped on the silk that was lying on the floor. It's not easy balancing oneself with these..........additions." Legolas looked down, glaring at himself. How did women manage with these?!  
  
Elladan chuckled and clapped Legolas on the back with his free hand. Pulling a reluctant Aragorn with them, they made their way back towards Elrond.  
  
The spell, even if it didn't work, would be highly amusing to watch.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn glared at his brothers as they drug him to the field where their father would perform the spell. He would get them back for this, that was for sure. It wasn't HIS fault the wizard was an old fart who took things a bit too far.   
  
Arriving at the perfect spot, Elrond opened the book he had brought with them.   
  
"Legolas, you have all the supplies?" Elrond looked over to where Legolas was putting several jars on the ground.   
  
Legolas nodded and Elrond looked over at Estel. Poor boy. He would probably need lots of therapy after this.  
  
Reading from the book, Elrond said, "In order to get the full effect of the spell, the person has to be completely nude." Leaving off there, Elrond looked towards the twins.   
  
Nodding, the twins proceeded to strip their brother from every scrap of clothing he was wearing. It wasn't easy, as the young human was putting up quite a fight.   
  
"OW!" Elladan screeched as Aragorn bit him on the arm.   
  
"Estel, this would go a lot faster if you would just cooperate."  
  
Aragorn looked towards Elrohir. "COOPERATE?! YOU EXPECT ME TO RUN NUDE THROUGH A FIELD OF PRICKLY PLANTS!"  
  
"....while covered in honey." Elrond coughed a bit to cover up his laugh.  
  
Sending a glare towards his father, Aragorn stomped his foot a bit. "I refuse to do it!"  
  
"Oh really? Well, my little brother, what if.....Glorfindel finds out who cut the straps on his saddle? Hmm? I believe he said there was certain death for the one who caused him to fall off the horse...and down the cliff......and into a bee hive......and into the river...." Elladan smirked.  
  
Muttering very rude things under his breath, Aragorn finally nodded slightly. He DEFINITELY didn't want to be on the receiving end of Glorfindel's anger, that was for sure. A little harmless run though...prickly plants...while covered in honey....wouldn't kill him.  
  
"Why do I have to be covered in honey and run through the prickly plants anyway?!" Aragorn whined.  
  
"Well, it says in the book that honey absorbs the curse put on you, and when the prickly plants prick you, they reverse the spell. It should work." Elrond said, then muttered under his breath so they couldn't hear, "I think."   
  
Still muttering under his breath, Aragorn yelped slightly as someone smeared a glob of cold honey on his back. Turning, Aragorn resisted the urge to deck a snickering Legolas.  
  
"Well, you have to be completely covered in honey." Legolas grinned.  
  
"I....can...do...it...myself!" Aragorn growled, and snatched the jar from Legolas.   
  
After covering himself COMPLETELY in honey, Aragorn looked back towards his father. It was quite a site for the old elf. His son.......with....breasts....and the other very vital female anatomy part......completely covered in honey. The Elf Lord had to refrain from laughing until he cried.  
  
"*ahem*...okay, it says you have to *cough* run through the field of prickly *snicker* plants." Elrond turned away and put a hand over his mouth to stifle the laughter.  
  
Aragorn looked at the field of plants. They were *almost* chest high. It would be a tough job just running through plants that high, but the plants were PRICKLY and they stung like a balrog when they stuck to skin. Plus, being naked and covered in honey.....well that didn't exactly help matters.  
  
"Get going little brother."   
  
Aragorn wacked his brother upside the head, and slowly took off.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elladan watched his brother running through the plants. Cupping a hand to his slightly pointed ear, he listened to the muttered curses from Estel.  
  
"...ow..ow...ow...EEYYOOUUCH....curse..." Elladan paused at that. Where had his brother learned THAT particular curse word?! Probably from Glorfindel, and the beehive incident. Shrugging, Elladan turned back towards the others.  
  
Elrond was hanging onto Legolas trying to control his laughter. Of course, Legolas wasn't helping matters any. He couldn't breathe for the giggles and snorts. Elrohir was over to the side chuckling to himself.  
  
Jumping about a mile high, Elladan turned back towards the field where about five elf females were running out.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHH! THERE'S A MAD WOMAN LOOSE!" Elladan heard one of them shriek as they ran past heading back towards Rivendell.  
  
Huh....poor Estel....running right in the middle of those women's picnic. Elladan snickered and finally gave into his laughter.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"ow..ow...ow...EEYYOOUUCH...curse.."  
  
Aragorn said as a particular big thorn caught onto a particular sensitive part of his body. His brothers....were going....to pay!   
  
Aragorn kept running though. It would be worth it, once the curse was lifted, to watch his brothers do this very same thing. He grinned evilly. Definitely worth it.  
  
Not noticing where he was going, he ran right out of the field and into a picnic. The female elves who were eating and chatting among themselves paused and looked up at the intruder....and screamed.  
  
Aragorn winced as they scattered and ran in different directions. Could this get anymore humiliating?! He stalked back towards his father. Only one more thing to do before this spell was complete. The sooner, the better.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrond stood up as his son stomped back to where they were all standing around. Trying to compose himself and hoping he didn't look that bad, as he was just rolling on the ground laughing, he straightened his robes and grabbed the last jar.  
  
"Okay." Elrond opened the book. "Now, all you have to do is eat a slug, and I repeat the words from the book. Then, if all goes as it should, you'll be back to normal."  
  
Aragorn looked into the jar at the very big, and very slimy slug currently gliding around on the inside. His stomach twisted just thinking of eating it.  
  
"Are you sure? I mean, can't I eat something else? Something...smaller?" Aragorns face twisted a bit.  
  
"No, you have to eat this." Elrond shook the jar in front of Estel's face.   
  
Taking the jar, Aragorn undid the cap and pulled out the gross looking creature.   
  
Legolas looked away as Elladan and Elrohir were still hanging onto each other laughing.  
  
Slowly lifting the slug to his mouth, Aragorn paused again and looked at Elrond. "What if-"  
  
"No." Elrond motioned for Estel to hurry up.  
  
"But-"  
  
"NO!"  
  
Aragorn glared, for what seemed like the millionth time that day, and lifted the slug to his mouth again. Dropping it and letting it slide down his throat, he quickly swallowed. Trying not to gag at the slimy feeling, he took a few deep breaths. He could swear he felt the thing crawling around in his stomach now.  
  
Elrond started repeating the passage from the book, which lasted for what seemed like forever. After he was done, Elrond sprinkled a bit of some unknown herb over Aragorn's head, then stood back and waited.  
  
After a few minutes, and nothing happening, Aragorn started fidgeting. "Is it supposed to take this long?!" He growled.  
  
"I truly don't know." Elrond reached a hand out and touched Estel's chin lightly.   
  
As soon as his fingers brushed against the chin though, something DID happen. Pink smoke seemed to rise from the very ground itself, and swirled around Aragorn and his father.  
  
The twins and Legolas backed up a bit, having no idea what was happening exactly. When the smoke finally cleared, they looked at their brother. Who.....was exactly the same.  
  
Looking over to their father, their jaws dropped.  
  
Elrond looked at his sons, a slightly perplexed expression coming over his face. "What?"  
  
Elladan pointed to his fathers chest.  
  
Elrond looked down. "Drats." The elf Lord was very lucky that Aragorn was there to catch him when he fell.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
When Elrond awoke again, he quickly pushed himself up from the bed his sons had lied him upon. Looking down, he growled. This wasn't supposed to happen!!!! It was supposed to reverse the curse on Aragorn......NOT PUT HIM UNDER THE CURSE!  
  
He looked around for the nearest wall to bash his head against. Unfortunately his search was interrupted as his sons strode into the room.  
  
"Ah, you're awake! What happened, Ada? The spell didn't work!" Elrohir said.  
  
Elrond looked at the younger of the two twins, and wondered if it'd be so bad to run him through with a sword. Na.....too much paperwork..........then again, he could always ask Glorfindel to do it. Sighing, he banished those thoughts from his head. It would do no good to strangle his son......or drown him......or push him off the balcony.........or - he shook his head. He had to stay on task!   
  
"Yes, I know the spell didn't work." He glared down at his new boobs. That wizard was going to pay.  
  
"Well, what are we -" Elladan was cut off by the screeching of a bird flying into the room.  
  
"What in the Valar..." Elrond walked over to the bird when he noticed a note attached to its leg. Once the note was removed, the bird hopped a few times, then took off again.  
  
Opening the note, he read it out loud,   
  
"To Elrond, Lord of Rivendell,   
  
No doubt you've noticed your sons have been placed under a most unusual curse. Hopefully, this will teach them a bit of manners, and to look before they shoot. Particularly that young human you have fostered.   
  
I sincerely hope you haven't tried that run-through-prickly-plants-covered-in-honey-and-eat-a-slug counter spell that Gandalf created. It won't work. That was just something Gandalf made when he was drunk at our yearly wizard bash. It just puts the same curse on the person trying to remove it. If you have done that spell......let me just say...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
No worries though! The curse will only last for five more days. By then, those youngsters should be a bit more mature.   
  
Namaarie,  
The White Wizard".  
  
Growling and crumpling the note up, Elrond stalked off towards his room. It was going to be a long five days.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Yep...you guessed it! The end of chapter two. This fic is WAY longer than I intended. This chapter is around 4,000 words itself! AND THERE'S GOING TO BE FIVE MORE! Valar help me. Reviews are *definitely* welcome. Flames will be fed to my pet balrog. 


	3. Chapter Three

Day Three -  
  
Aragorn awoke again as a female. This was getting very annoying. He winced as he got dressed. After spending several hours in the tub last night, he had attempted to scrub every bit of the sticky honey off. He finally got it off, but now his skin was raw and red.  
  
Not to mention the sores and rash he got from the prickly plants. What made it even worse was the sores itched...and they were EVERYWHERE. Scratching his bum, he walked out into the hallway where he bumped into Legolas.  
  
"Aragorn." Legolas greeted his friend.   
  
"Legolas." Aragorn growled.  
  
'Hm.....guess he is still mad about yesterday then.' Legolas mused.  
  
"So......get any sleep last night?"   
  
"Enough." Actually, Aragorn didn't get hardly ANY sleep last night. It was hard to get comfortable with the extra body parts. Plus the sores. Aragorn looked over to Legolas. The elf looked tired, like he didn't sleep a bit.   
  
"Did YOU get any sleep last night?" Aragorn decided to put away their differences........for now.  
  
"Um..........yeah." Legolas studied the wall for a bit. Interesting....he could see a tiny crack near the bottom. Oh...a fly. Legolas' eyes followed the fly around the ceiling.  
  
"You're lying. Why couldn't you sleep last night?"   
  
"Um...no reason. I just couldn't." Such an interesting fly, Legolas thought.   
  
"Legolas." Aragorn sighed. Why did his friend insist on being like this?!   
  
"Fine. I had a few small......nightmares."   
  
"Really? And..........?"   
  
Legolas glared at Estel. The young human wasn't making this any easier.  
  
"I dreamt I was being attacked by giant boobs. Okay? Are you happy now?!" Legolas stomped off.   
  
Aragorn paused for a second before bursting out laughing. Realizing his friend was on the move, Aragorn ran to catch up with him.  
  
"Legolas, sorry. I didn't..*snicker* mean anything. It's just..............how big were they?" Aragorn broke down in a fit of giggles again.   
  
Legolas' cheeks reddened before he took off out the nearest balcony and into the trees.  
  
"Hmm....someone is very touchy today." Aragorn shrugged to himself then went off to find breakfast.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrond rubbed his temples as he sat down to the table. It had been a long night. He'd spent most of it searching for a cure, for the curse he was under. And, had found absolutely nothing.   
  
He had gotten a major migraine halfway through the night. Strangely, instead of taking the usual herbs, he had settled himself down with one of the romance books the maidens were so fond of, and had eaten a whole store of chocolate. Afterwards, he had glanced into the mirror and started wondering if he was getting fat. It was a very weird moment indeed for the Elf Lord. He had never been too worried about his appearance.   
  
Also, when taking his morning bath, he had to resist the urge to shave his legs and armpits. He had taken a very short bath, as he was not accustomed to seeing certain body parts on him. When he got out and stood in front of the mirror to fix his hair, he had yet another weird urge to pluck his eyebrows.   
  
Either he was going very insane, or this was some result of the curse. He was hoping it was the latter. And it wasn't getting any better. These urges were getting stronger by the minute!   
  
Deciding to just ignore them for now, he reached over and picked up a piece of fruit. Just as he was about to bite into it, someone walked into the dinning room.  
  
"Elrond, I'm glad to have found you......." Glorfindel trailed off as he got a good look at his friend. Elrond.....the Lord of Rivendell........had boobs. And big ones at that.  
  
"Umm.....I was looking for Elrond....have you seen him?" Glorfindel said, deciding that it was just a misunderstanding. This couldn't be Elrond.   
  
"I'm Elrond, Glorfindel. I apologize for my appearance. It seems I was placed under a curse of the worst sort, along with my sons and Legolas." Elrond had to stifle a chuckle at the confused expression on his friends face.  
  
"A...curse..you say? And, when exactly will this curse be lifted?"   
  
"In about four days time."  
  
Glorfindel fidgeted, and his eye started twitching. A sure sign that he was a bit uncomfortable.   
  
"Yes, well. I uhhh......I've come to tell you that...uhh.."  
  
"....yes?" Elrond grinned slightly.   
  
"Umm...there are Orcs.....*eye twitch*....yes Orcs not too far from Rivendell. I have to go um....kill them. *twitch*"   
  
"Orcs, you say? Well, you should take along my sons. They are some of the best warriors here."  
  
Glorfindel thought for a moment. Elrond had said his sons were under the same curse. That meant.....they also had boobs.  
  
"No, I have to...er...disagree with you there. I can handle them by myself. Not that many Orcs, really." Glorfindel shrugged.   
  
"Very well. When will you be back?" Elrond asked.  
  
"Umm..er.....uhh.....five days. *eye twitch* Yep, five days."   
  
Elrond nodded, and Glorfindel fled the room. Chuckling over his friends antics, Elrond turned back towards his breakfast. He was interrupted yet again, as Aragorn came into the room, followed closely by Elladan and Elrohir.   
  
"Ada, what is wrong with Glorfindel? He took one look at us and his eyes just went crazy. Twitching and such. He didn't even say anything, just ran off towards the stables. Is he alright?" Elladan sat himself down at the table.   
  
"I don't know. I don't think he's truly comfortable around us as we are at the moment though." Elrond said.  
  
"Ah." Elladan reached over and grabbed an apple.  
  
Just as Elrond was about to bite into his fruit for the third time that morning, Legolas rushed into the room and sat down at the table. "Terribly sorry I'm late. I had to avoid a few other people on the way here."   
  
"Didn't want anyone to see you as a girl?" Aragorn chuckled.  
  
"No, actually I don't. I have a reputation to think of, you know."   
  
Aragorn just rolled his eyes. He had a feeling that the following days would be very entertaining.  
  
Luckily for Elrond, the rest of breakfast went smoothly without any more interruptions. Too bad he couldn't say that for the rest of the day.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrohir walked in his room to tidy up. He hated leaving messes around. Which, it was very hard to keep the room remotely clean, since he shared it with Elladan. It had been like that since before they could remember. Neither of the twins minded, for they loved spending time with each other.   
  
"Brother, I think your butt is getting big." Elladan said while fixing his hair in front of a mirror.  
  
Turning around, Elrohir looked in his mirror. "No, you're wrong. It's your butt that's getting big. Mine is fine. I have a sexy butt." Elrohir did a weird dance, which involved lots of rump shaking.  
  
"Hahahahaha. Allow me to laugh at you, and say that YOU WISH." Elladan peaked out of the corner of his eye and looked at his butt just to be sure.   
  
"Elladan, you're butt is so big, you could fall into Mount Doom and get stuck."   
  
"Why you little!" Elladan tackled his brother and flipped him over onto his stomach. Sitting on Elrohir's back, he pushed his elbows into his twin's neck.   
  
"Say uncle!"   
  
"NEVER!" Elrohir bucked trying to escape his brother's clutches.   
  
Tightening his hold, the older twin jabbed his fingers in a sensitive part of his brothers neck.  
  
"GIVE!" Elladan yelled.  
  
"I...WILL.....NOT.....GIVE...UP!" Elrohir finally arched his back and wacked his brother in the head with his foot.  
  
Rolling off of Elrohir, Elladan snatched up one of the giant cushions from the floor. Hurling it, he watched with a satisfied smirk as it landed right in his brothers face.  
  
Grabbing the nearest thing handy, which happened to be a pair of dirty underclothes, Elrohir flung it at Elladan. He laughed as it they wrapped around his brothers head.  
  
"GAAHH! GET IT OFF! EWW!" Elladan said, and snatched it off, throwing it out a window.   
  
"Oops......hope they didn't land on anyone...."  
  
Elrohir snickered. "Well, if they did, I'm sure they'll know who's underclothes they belong too. I believe I saw your name sewn onto the hem of them."   
  
"Oh Valar. Suppose I should go get them then." Elladan frowned, and walked out towards the gardens, hoping no one came across the pair of underclothes lying outside.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrond sighed as he walked along the peaceful paths of his garden. He loved being here. This was the place he could retreat to when he needed quiet time for thinking. And he had a LOT of thinking to do.  
  
Elrond had no clue as to anything that would get rid of this curse. He finally decided to himself to wait out the five days and see if he would really be changed back to his former self. If not, he'd have a long talk with Gandalf, while strangling his youngest.   
  
Lifting his face, he smiled to the heavens and breathed in deeply. The sweet scent of Rivendell filled his senses. He could hear birds twittering in a nearby tree, the rustle of a squirrel running across the branches, the woosh of a pair of dirty underclothes falling through the air and landing on his face...  
  
"ARGH!" Elrond tore the offending piece of clothing off and looked at it. On the edge he could clearly see Elladan's name.   
  
He wondered what his sons were up to, and how it involved throwing dirty laundry out the window. Shaking his head to himself, he looked up again noticed a very big rain cloud that was threatening to spill it's contents any second. Frowning, he looked around. It hadn't been long since the last rain, any more water could cause a bit of damage. Concentrating and centering his thoughts on Vilya, he breathed in deeply. Reaching out, he went to move the rain clouds away from Rivendell, and to another location that would probably need the rain more then them.  
  
He frowned even deeper when nothing happened. Reaching out again, he realized.........it wasn't working. He shook the ring, then put all of his thoughts and will into moving the rain cloud. Slowly, ever so slowly, it started moving. But not in the direction he wanted it to. The rain cloud was moving towards him...directly towards him. He watched as it centered itself right above him, then with a loud clash of thunder, released all of it's water on one spot. Right where Elrond was standing.  
  
Sputtering, he hurried back inside his home. Reaching the doorway, Elrond stood there looking like a drowned rat. His hair had come out of the elaborate style he usually kept it in, and his boots made an odd squelching sound when he walked.  
  
Elrond wondered why Vilya was rejecting him. Most likely, it was because he was NOT himself. He was...half female, not the elf the Ring knew. Walking up to his room, he tucked the Ring away in a very safe spot. He would have to go without it until this curse was lifted. He changed, and headed back towards the reading room. He was going to need some sappy romance to cheer him up now.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn unbuttoned his shirt, to change into another. With the additions on his chest, his usual shirts were....very tight. Pulling the shirt off, he looked into the mirror. Normally, he wasn't TOO interested in breasts, but he had never been able to study them up close. His were milky white, and round. Looking down, he jumped once.   
  
*BOUNCE*  
  
Laughing to himself, he jumped again.  
  
*BOUNCE*  
  
Looking around to see if anyone was spying on him, he started jumping repeatedly.  
  
*BOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCEBOUNCE*  
  
"Bounce, boing, look at'em go!" Aragorn sang.  
  
Legolas, who was walking by the door, stopped in his tracks. Putting an ear to the door, he listened to Aragorn.  
  
"Bouncy, boingy, bouncy, boing. And no one knows what I'm doing!" Aragorn sang.  
  
Eyebrows now shooting up to his hairline, Legolas opened the door. Inside was Aragorn, with no shirt on, jumping up and down.   
  
"What in the Valar are you doing?!" Legolas said.  
  
Aragorn stopped and hurriedly grabbed up a shirt, flinging it over his head.  
  
"Nothing." He squeaked.  
  
"Yeah........sure." Legolas shook his head. Aragorn continued to amaze him sometimes. Not that LEGOLAS would ever do that.....no...of COURSE not. Unless the door was locked......Legolas shook his head again.   
  
"I'll just be polishing my bow...if you need me. Have fun." Legolas winked at a reddening Aragorn, and headed towards his room.   
  
He wondered how they all would fare in the next four days.  
  
--------------------------  
  
I decided to do that whole "Reply to the reviewers" Thing. Here goes:   
  
xsilicax - Yes master, I obey master. ;)  
  
Katherine - I have no idea how I think of these things. It's not intentional, lemme tell you. One day I'm sitting here, innocent as can be, them ~BAM~. Get attacked by a rabit Uruk-Hoppity. (new breed of plot bunnies)  
  
Lily Frost - Dresses? ..........*zips lips* Maybe...there are a few chapters to go....  
  
happy molecule - Bizzare is my middle name. *grin*  
  
Zoya - "Laughed til you cried"? LOL. I'm glad my story get such a reaction! :D  
  
Zelda123 - Whaddya mean "YAY 5 more"?!?!?! THAT'S HELL FOR ME!! LMAO. I have to *write* this crap ya know. ;)  
  
Ceng - Well, since you said please...;)  
  
Shauna - LMAO!!!!! Had lots of fun reading your review! Caps lock stuck? *grin* Glad you like it!  
  
libie - I was thinking of bringing Arwen in so she could be forever scared off by Aragorns but I decided not to. Maybe I will do something like that in another fic tho. ;)  
  
person named bob - Evil? You notice the name is TrinityTheSheDEVIL. LOL. I love being evil. It's so fun, and so much more rewarding than being nice. *grins*  
  
So, thanks bunches reviewers!!!!!!! I have no clue as to when the fourth chapter will be out. *sigh* Real life, websites, graphics, reading, etc get in the way.   
  
I'd love to hear reviews of this chapter. :D That would make my day! :D:D:D 


	4. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: The exact same one applies here! *sighs*   
I'm soooo sorry I couldn't get this chapter out sooner! But, well, the "Letters" series got in the way, then there's that other fic I did and have yet to post on fanfiction.net. (It WILL be posted soon, I promise!) Oh, and my website, real life. All those pesky things!!!! Thank you all SOOOOOO much for the reviews, they mean so much to me!   
I should add that this will *not* become a slash story. Yes, I know, I made them female, but I don't do slash. I have NOTHING against slash but I just don't write it. (Heck, I don't write romance period!) Oh, and I really hope you guys don't kill me for what I did to Aragorn in this chapter. *sigh* Had too much fun doing it though. :D ANYWAY, enough of my jabbering. Enjoy the chapter. :)**   
**Day Four**   
  
Elrond sighed and snuggled further in his blankets. It wasn't quite morning yet, so there was no reason to get up in a hurry. He was content to just lay there, and listen to the birds singing outside his window.   
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
Elrond jumped up as he heard the scream, and wacked his head against the headboard. Grumbling to himself, he wondered what had happened now.   
  
He opened the door just as Aragorn came running in and bowled him over.   
  
"OOF!" Elrond landed with a *thud* on the floor. Before he could get his legs beneath him, Aragorn started babbling.  
  
"ADA! I'M DYING! THAT WIZARD IS KILLING ME!"  
  
"Estel, slow down. What's wrong?" Elrond asked worriedly.  
  
Aragorn gulped and tried to control his breathing.  
  
"I'm dying Ada! That cursed wizard lied!" Aragorn ran his hands through his hair, and looked at his father with big pleading eyes.  
  
"How are you dying? What is wrong?" Elrond looked his son over but could see no outward sign of injury.  
  
"I'm..........bleeding!"   
  
Elrond blinked, and looked over his son a bit more. "Where are you bleeding at, my son?"  
  
Aragorn sighed and gestured to his lower regions.   
  
"Not only that, ada, I have pains in my stomach and my back. I also have a killer headache."  
  
Elrond blinked twice, taking this information in. His lips quirked upward, as he realized what exactly was wrong. Snickering slightly, he took pity on his foster son, and told him what exactly was happening.  
  
"Estel.......you're not dying."  
  
"I'm not?" Aragorn asked, confused. There was no possible way he could bleed this much and NOT die.  
  
Elrond sighed, and had a feeling that this wouldn't be easy.  
  
"No, you're not. You see....women.....human women...........have a condition. They uhhhh..........come into womanhood around the age of fifteen."  
  
Aragorns brow furrowed as he listened to what his father was saying. "Condition?"  
  
"For Valars sake," Elrond muttered, and wondered why Aragorn didn't learn about this sooner. "Estel, this is completely natural, for women. It happens once a month, and all women go through it."  
  
"So...........I'm not dying?"  
  
Elrond rolled his eyes. "No, you're not!" He sighed. Then snickered. A few minutes later, he was laughing pretty hard.  
  
Aragorn glared at his father. "How can you find this funny?! And why aren't you and the others going through the same thing?!"  
  
Elrond stifled his laughter a bit and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Because, my son, elf women don't go through this."  
  
Aragorn muttered a few choice words in dwarvish, before storming out of the room. Elrond raises his eyebrows and wondered where exactly his son learned that sort of language. Probably Glorfindel, that blonde elf couldn't hold his temper back for anything. Especially when the twins pull pranks.   
  
Elrond chuckled again as he thought of what his son was going through exactly. He also felt a great deal of pity for him, because he knew it would probably get worse before it got any better.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Legolas walked down the halls looking for his human friend. After having a talk with Lord Elrond, the blonde Mirkwood Elf had found out that Aragorn was going through a very trying time. He thought it best to be there for his friend, and help him in this time of need.  
  
Opening the door to Aragorn's room, Legolas' eyebrows shot upward three inches. Aragorn was lying down, completely covered in water skins full of hot water.   
  
"Aragorn, Lle tyava quel, mellon nin?" (A/N: I *think* that means "do you feel well, my friend"! I got it from some Elvish phrase dictionary!)  
  
Aragorn mumbled something about Orc mothers and lots of pain.  
  
"I'll take that as a no then."   
  
Aragorn opened his eyes to look at his elven friend.   
  
"Legolas, do you care for me?"  
  
Legolas blinked at this question. Why was his friend asking him this?  
  
"Yes, you know I do."  
  
"Would you do anything for me?"  
  
The elf paused, before slowly answering.  
  
"Yeah, you know that I would."  
  
Aragorn nodded, and gestured to the bow hanging on the wall.  
  
"Well please, if you care for me, take that bow, and shoot an arrow straight into my forehead. End this pain and misery! I prefer a quick death, not this long drawn out torture!"  
  
Legolas grinned. "Surely it cannot be that bad Aragorn. Women go through this every month. Are you saying that a ordinary woman is tougher than you?"  
  
Aragorn glared. "Yes, if they can endure this pain every month! I do not see why leaders train men for years to stand pain on the battlefield. They should just have the women fight, for my previous injuries pale in comparison to the pain I am in now."  
  
Aragorn's glare deepened as Legolas started laughing harder. Why was everyone laughing at him this day?! Snatching up one of the water skins, he flung it at the grinning Elf. Legolas yelped and quickly scampered out the door.  
  
"AND STAY OUT!" Aragorn growled, and attempted to settle himself down again.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea, brother?" Elrohir asked as Elladan balanced the plates in his hands.  
  
"Of course it is! Legolas said that our dear baby brother is in need of cheering up. We can't just let him suffer like that."  
  
"But.....you heard him scaring off the maids. And then Legolas sulking because of Aragorns mood swings. I am just saying, do you not fear for your life?" Elrohir's hand paused over the door handle, waiting for his brothers answer.   
  
"He's just a human." Elladan laughed.  
  
"JUST a human? Does the color 'blue' mean anything to you? No? How about glue? Or giant spiders? Or perhaps -"  
  
Elladan glared at Elrohir. "Okay, I get the point. He isn't JUST a human, he's a sneaky human who knows too much for his own good. We'll just have to be careful."  
  
Elrohir sighed, and opened the door. Walking in, he had to agree with his twin. Aragorn looked absolutely miserable.   
  
Hearing the door creak, Aragorn cracked his eyes open and glared at his brothers.  
  
"Come to torment me like everyone else?" He grumbled.  
  
Elladan shook his head, and set the plates down beside Aragorn.  
  
"No, we have come to make you feel better. With chocolate!"  
  
At the mention of chocolate, Aragorn's eyes widened and he sat up.   
  
"Chocolate? I LOVE chocolate!"  
  
Elladan chuckled as his brother grabbed at the sweet treat.  
  
Aragorn's hand paused at the second bite. "Wait. If I eat this, I'll get fat! My butt is already big enough!" Turning to glare at the twins, he yelled, "You two are trying to get me fat, aren't you?! HOW DARE YOU!"  
  
Elladans eyebrows raised in a perfect imitation of Elrond. He was about to interject when Aragorn continued.  
  
"Don't you love me anymore?! What have I done to deserve such treatment?! I have only tried to be the best brother I can be! But you reject me! And try to get me fat! I HATE YOU! GO AWAY!"  
  
Elrohir ducked as the plate of chocolates went flying over his head.   
  
"Aragorn we-" Elladan was cut off as a water skin caught him right in the face.  
  
"Fine! We'll talk to you when you seem a bit more...rational!"   
  
The twins beat a hasty retreat as their brother cursed them in every language known to Middle Earth.  
  
Elrohir stopped outside the door, and crossed his arms. He gave his brother the "I told you so!" look.  
  
"Don't look at me like that! I was only thinking of what was best for Aragorn."  
  
Elrohir raised one eyebrow.  
  
"Fine. Whatever. You win." Elladan gave a most un-elfish pout, and stalked off.   
  
Elrohir sighed, and took off after his brother. And to think......they still had several days to go!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
For the rest of the day, everyone tried their best to stay away from Aragorn and his wild mood swings. They now felt truly sorry for the women who actually had to endure that womanly curse every month. They also reminded their selves not to go around any women going through it, for fear of losing limb and life.   
  
That night, as they settled in for bed, they all felt glad that another day had gone by. Another day closer to being changed back to their former selves. And although all of them were loathe to admit it, each felt the womanly urges grow stronger as each minute passed by. Would they be strong enough to resist these calls? Or would they all give in, and completely embarrass themselves in front of every Elf in Rivendell?  
WHOOOOO BOY! End of another chapter! *whew* Okay, **SPECIAL THANKS TO KARINE FOR BETA'ING IT!** Can't stress that enough. Thanks girl!   
To the reviewers!   
  
** zelda123 - LOL. Yes, it is. All my stuff sucks. ;) I don't see why anyone else reads this dreck. Glad you like it though!  
  
Katherine - Yeah, I love that jumping scene too. *sigh* *eye roll* Males. ;)   
  
Mellon - A cookie? OOOOO!!! What kind? I updated! Gimme!   
  
~C~ - I *hate* getting calls when I'm reading. Especially if it's humor fic. People on the other end have no idea why I'm laughing so hard at them. LOL.   
  
Estel Yurewen - I have no clue how I think this stuff up. It could be because my mind is so far in the gutter, I cannot even SEE the gutter! *sigh* As for genuis...LOL..yeah right....I wish. ;)  
  
Imbefaniel - I TRY to keep my stuff unique. It's really hard, thinking up a fic that hasn't been done a million times before. ;)  
  
shadow's flame - *blush* Thanks! :D  
  
person named bob - More evil by the minute eh? *snickers evilly* Your opinion will probably double after reading this chapter. And the next ones....;)   
  
Pineapple - Over? Naaaa, just beginning to get good! HEHEHEHEHE.  
  
goblz - *beams* Thanks! :D  
  
Red Pirate - Awww, the balrog thanks you! *wink* And did I hear "therapy"? I know of a good therapist! Dr. Phil. *snicker*  
  
Lotrobsession - Yah, white wizards rule! :D   
  
Videl-14 - LMAO! Glad you think so!!!   
  
Kasandra - *shrugs* My imagination scares even me...*sigh* ;)   
  
elmo44449999 - Hmmmm.....well.....It will get more evil in the next chapters. Trust me. *snickers*  
  
Dark Angel 452 - You must have read my mind!!!!!!!!! Wow. I have had another person ask me the very same thing. ;) Am I that predictable? Meh! LOL.**   
_ Thanks to all of you reviewers, you're all the best! :D Now, as for the next chapter. Let me apologize for not having enough Legolas, Twins, or Elrond in this one. BUT, no fear, I have major major plans for them in the next chapters. *gets very evil grin* I hope this chapter sounded right, I thought it was rather..sucky. Anyways, going to cut this short....pinky finger is aching from hitting the SHIFT key so much. LOL. Thanks again!_


	5. Chapter Five

** Title: Of Arrows and Curses  
Author: TrinityTheSheDevil   
Rating: PG 13-ish  
Summary: This story is MOST DEFINITELY AU. For one: Elrond doesn't have a wife in this fic. Nada attachments. :D And two: nothing that happens in this fic could possibly happen in a real LOTR universe! LOL. Okay, on with summary. Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas all go on a hunting trip. When something goes wrong, they manage to tick off a wizard, and have a curse put upon them! Will they survive?  
Archive: Just ask!! :D  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTRs. I own ~nothing~. Although I really wish I did. REALLY wishing I did. Perhaps I could buy Aragorn from Tolkien? *pout* Or not.   
Thanks to Zimbing who helped me with the curse in chapter two! :)  
Bunches of thanks to my beta, Karine! :D**  
**Day Five**  
  
Legolas stretched as he made his way to breakfast. He took the long way, so he could stay as far away from Aragorn's room as possible. After his last run in with the over emotional Ranger, he felt the need to distance himself in the name of his health.  
  
Walking past one of the rooms in Elrond's great home, he stopped in mid stride as he heard talking coming from within. Peaking around the door, he put a hand to his mouth to stop his laughter.   
  
The twins were sitting in the room............knitting! Seated on big cushy armchairs with a basket of yarn between them, they were making what seemed to be.......a very colorful blanket. Or perhaps it was a giant sweater. Whatever it was, it had more colors than a rainbow!   
  
Legolas coughed slightly and stepped into the room.  
  
"Ah, Legolas! Tell me, what do you think of it?" Elladan held up a big wad of tangled yarn that was supposed to resemble something.  
  
"Uhhhh..."  
  
"Yes, isn't it marvelous? I never knew my dear brother had such fine craftsmanship with a needle! Do you think Ada would like it?" Elrohir smiled, proudly, over the tangle of yarn.  
  
"Ummm..."  
  
"I think he will, Elrohir, how could he not? He used to collect those knitted blankets from whats-her-name!"  
  
"Ah, you're absolutely right Elladan!"  
  
Legolas blinked.   
  
"*ahem* Yes, well. I'll be....uh....at breakfast. Happy knitting."   
  
Legolas quickly walked out the door whilst shaking his head and muttering under his breath. 'I will NOT fall under the curse that much, I will NOT be doing....womanly.....things. I have more strength than they do. I'm a Prince, after all.' Legolas nodded to himself. Nothing would happen to him, besides what had already come to pass. After all.............he was stronger than they were.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Erestor muttered to himself. Elrond hadn't shown up this morning for the meeting that would determine what to do about the Orc parties that had been seen not too far from Rivendell. It wasn't unusual for the Elf Lord to miss meetings, as he was usually attending to an injured son...or two........and an accident prone elf prince. The elf was surprised that the Lord of Rivendell's head wasn't full of gray hair. But, when he wasn't present at meetings, he usually sent along word to the others so they would know what was happening.   
  
After asking a few elves, Erestor learned that nobody had seen Elrond that morning. He hadn't come out of his room yet.   
  
Arriving at Elrond's door, he knocked lightly. Not receiving an answer, he opened the door and slowly walked in. The bed was made, and looked as if it had been slept in that night. He heard someone murmuring in the bathroom, and stepped lightly over clothing strewn all over the floor.  
  
"Elrond, where have yo-"  
  
Erestor's jaw hit the floor with an audible "pop".  
  
"Yes Erestor?" Elrond said, never looking up from plucking his eyebrows.  
  
"Umm......what.....why......." Erestor blinked. Here was the Lord of Rivendell, wearing women's underclothes (and very lacy ones at that!), plucking his eyebrows like it was an everyday thing.  
  
Elrond stopped and looked down.  
  
"Oh, this? I thought it was lovely. A nice change from the formal robes, eh?" Elrond winked, and went back to his plucking.  
  
Erestor nodded dumbly, and started backing out. "I'll just uh...tell them...the curse has affected your mind. Umm.....we'll reschedule the meeting...for another day."  
  
Erestor fled the bedroom, leaving the door wide open.   
  
Elrond rolled his eyes and shut the door. Looking back in the mirror, he smiled and grabbed some of the lip color off the sink.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Legolas finally arrived in the dinning room, after having been stopped multiple times by girls wanting him to go shopping with them. Although it was very tempting, he had to remember. He was stronger than Elladan and Elrohir. He was not a weakling about to bow down to this curse.  
  
Sitting himself down, he tipped the chair backwards on the back legs a bit. It was dead boring, since nobody else had arrived for breakfast yet, and the food hadn't been served.  
  
He smiled as he saw Elrond finally walk in, but his smile soon turned to shock. He accidently let go of the table, and fell over backwards in the chair.  
  
"OOF!"  
  
Elrond raised a finely plucked eyebrow at the young elfling.   
  
"Having trouble Legolas?"  
  
Legolas looked up at the Elf Lord who was like a second father to him. Elrond, was wearing make-up. A LOT of make-up. His eyebrows were plucked, and his hair was in a bun. A BUN!   
  
That wasn't all, oh no. He was also wearing a DRESS! And not just any dress, noooo. It was particularly tight around the chest, and VERY low cut. A bright yellow and purple color and it was topped off with six inch heels.   
  
Legolas' poor mind couldn't take it any more. He fainted.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
When Legolas awoke, he was facing a pair of large breasts. Normally he wouldn't mind, but he had a big feeling he knew who they belonged to. Looking to the side, he groaned. Purple and yellow dress.   
  
Closing his eyes, he scooted backwards to escape the evil globes.   
  
"OUCH!" Aragorn yelped as Legolas knocked him over backwards.  
  
"Oh, sorry Ara-. Wait a minute, why aren't you holed up in your room moaning in pain?" Legolas asked.  
  
"That particular...........curse.....was lifted from me this morning. Thank the Valar. I had begun to wonder if it were worth the effort to hang myself from the ceiling with a bed sheet."   
  
Legolas rolled his eyes.  
  
"Are you alright, Legolas? You fainted all of a sudden, for no reason." Elrond looked worried.  
  
Legolas coughed to cover up his reaction. NO REASON?! Well, if seeing the warrior and Elf Lord dressed up as a female were no reason, he'd kiss an Orc.   
  
"I'm *cough* fine. I think it was something I ate last night. Nothing to worry over." Legolas tried to smile, but it came out more of a grimace.  
  
Elrond nodded, and helped the young Mirkwood Prince off the floor.  
  
When Elrond had moved out of ear shot, Legolas whispered over to Aragorn.  
  
"Why in the name of Arda is he WEARING that?!"   
  
Aragorn shrugged. "I don't know. I think he looks......dashing......in it though. Say, Legolas, how do you think I would look in a light blue dress with frilly-"  
  
Legolas groaned to himself and stomped off, leaving a bewildered Aragorn standing in the dinning room.  
  
"What did I say? Not blue then? How about red-" Aragorn's voice faded as he followed Legolas down the hall.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elladan smiled to himself as he adjusted the frilly pink bra he had just put on. A few seconds later, a matching pair of panties joined them.  
  
"Elrohir, come here a second."  
  
Elrohir put down the almost finished....thing...he was knitting.  
  
"How does this look?" Elladan turned around in a circle.  
  
"Very nice. Pink is definitely you. Although, I think you should shave. If you know what I mean."  
  
Elladan looked down at his panty line. "I suppose you're right. Oh, almost forgot!"   
  
Elladan turned around and grabbed a pair of matching light green bra and panties. He held them out to Elrohir, who took them.   
  
"Well, go ahead and try them on!"   
  
Elrohir nodded, and put them on.  
  
"I thought so! Green suits you! Although, I think we both need to shave!" Elladan laughed.  
  
"Yeah, you're right. But, you suppose we could do what the females do? Umm....wax?" Elrohir asked.  
  
"Why not? I heard waxing is so much better than shaving anyway."  
  
The two nodded to each other, and ventured off to find some body wax.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
As the day passed, the curse pulled them all under a bit more. Today, it was panties, leg wax, and make-up. What would tomorrow bring? Valar only knew.   
**REVIEWS** :)  
  
**Katherine** - Yes, they should hadn't they?? They should bow down to our superiour powers! LOL.   
  
**Imbefaniel** - I dunno about a female character. Perhaps small, maybe 2 or 3 lines at the most. Females are simply too hard to write!!! LOL.   
  
**MoroTheWolfGod** - *snort* LMAO. Yeah, poor guy! ;)  
  
**goblz** - Ya know, if you get in trouble for disturbing the class, it's NOT my fault. So don't you dare blame it on me! *snicker* Glad it provokes such a reaction from you though!  
  
**Hex Of The Unseelie** - LOL! Yeah, I figured, what the heck. I'm going to take all my montly frustrations out on my favorite Ranger. *snickering*  
  
**Videl-14** - Of COURSE men have no idea. Meh! I was very tempted to strangle my b/f once a few years ago. Sadly resisted though. LOL.  
  
**~C~** - Losing your mind is fun!!! Don't anyone tell you otherwise. If I hadn't lost my mind, I wouldn't be writing this! LMAO!  
  
**christy the badger** - LOL, glad you think so!   
  
**person named bob** - Hi Bob! ;) *sighs* It's not MY fault I'm a crazy weirdo. I just milk it for all it's worth though!   
  
**Alida-Fruit** - Giant........squirrels??? *gets attacked by a plot bunny* Oohhhh...thanks for the idea!! *grins* *puts it down in "possible new fics" list* ;)   
  
**elmo44449999** - ROTFLMAO!! Was VERY tempted to do the leak bit, but, already had the fic planned out. And I don't think there is a Victoria's Secret in ME. Although, it'd be funny as hell to watch them go there! LMAO!   
  
**Kasandra** - LOL, will do! :D  
  
**Estel Yurewen** - Ah, yes, monthly thing is major torture. Meh, I do not know how all us women survive it! LOL. A lil peek? Hmm...ok....SMALL peek. Think.....leg wax...and bikini lines. The twins. :)   
_Well, the end of another chapter. Thanks go out to all my wonderful reviewers!! Hope to get the next chapter out sooner than this one. Only 3 chapters to go! :)_


	6. Chapter Six

**Title: Of Arrows and Curses  
Author: TrinityTheSheDevil  
Rating: PG 13-ish  
Summary: This story is MOST DEFINITELY AU. For one: Elrond doesn't have a wife in this fic. Nada attachments. :D And two: nothing that happens in this fic could possibly happen in a real LOTR universe! LOL. Okay, on with summary. Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas all go on a hunting trip. When something goes wrong, they manage to tick off a wizard, and have a curse put upon them! Will they survive?  
Archive: Just ask!! :D  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTRs. I own ~nothing~. Although I really wish I did. REALLY wishing I did. Perhaps I could buy Aragorn from Tolkien? *pout* Or not.   
Thanks to Zimbing who helped me with the curse in chapter two! :)  
Bunches of thanks to my beta, Karine! :D  
  
AN - Okay, I know that 1) elves don't really have leg hair/hair..er..down there...and all that. I just put it because it's funny. And also, 2) I know that they can't actually go out and buy dresses, they have them made. Again, I put it because it was funny. AU stuff, ya know? ;)**  
  
**Day Six**  
  
Aragorn was awoken from his peaceful sleep by a high pitch scream from one of his brothers. Groaning, he put the pillow over his head to try and muffle the sound. It was definitely too early in the morning for this crap.  
  
Another scream ripped through the air, and he growled. Pulling on some clothes, he stomped out of his room to the source of the sounds.  
  
Bursting through the door, Aragorn pointed his finger at his brother and stopped. He raised an eyebrow at the two.  
  
*RIP*  
  
"OOWWWWW!" Elladan rubbed his leg where he had just violently ripped the strip of cloth off.  
  
Aragorn pursed his lips, trying to think of something to say. A few moments later he threw his hands in the air and gave up. Stomping back off to his room, the human wondered why he was "blessed" with brothers as crazy as those two.  
  
Elrohir frowned at his twin as he applied more wax to his legs. "What do you suppose is wrong with him?"  
  
Elladan shrugged. "Why are you asking me, as if I can understand the enigma that is our brother?" Pouting slightly, he looked at his red legs. "How females can do this without screaming and writhing in pain, I'll never know....."  
  
Elrohir silently agreed, as he ripped another strip of cloth off, wincing as the hairs were yanked free of his skin.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Legolas paced around his room. Having already ventured outside for breakfast, he had seen the twins dressed up in matching frilly dresses, and decided it was safer in the haven of his guest bedroom. The Mirkwood elf could only imagine what outfit Aragorn was currently wearing.  
  
'Tomorrow is the last day of the curse. If I can just hide until then, I'll be fine.' Looking at the door, he wondered how he was going to escape. He had already barred the door, placed a giant wooden desk in front of it, and positioned several of the large, cushy chairs in front of the desk. 'That should hold them. I can survive without food for two days.'  
  
*Knock, knock*  
  
Legolas jumped and let out an un-prince like yelp. They were after him, he just knew it!  
  
"Legolas? Are you okay? You were not at breakfast, and I was getting worried. Legolas?"  
  
Aragorn. Curse that human. He was the one who got them all into this mess to start off with. Resuming his pacing and ignoring the worried sounds coming from the other side of the door, Legolas continued plotting his escape plan.  
  
So far it involved the window. And a horse. He hadn't gotten any further than that just yet.  
  
Resisting the urge to smack his head against the wall, Legolas plopped down onto one of the chairs. He was in hell. Or something very close to it. Wishing he had escaped with Glorfindel, Legolas sighed. Before he could do anything else, a small bag was tossed into the open window and landed with a soft *thud* onto the floor. Rising to inspect it, he cursed himself. The bag had started smoking, letting off a thick green smoke.  
  
"Damn those twins!" He thought just before he passed out onto the floor.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
When Legolas awoke, he was tied to a chair. In front of him was a beaming Elladan. Or at least he thought it was Elladan, it was really hard to tell with all that face paint.  
  
"I'm so glad you decided to wake up, Legolas. We know you are just dying to join the fun. So, we took it upon ourselves to help you out." A wolf like grin had now covered Elladan's face, and he could see the same grin on the face of his twin.  
  
A mirror was held up so that Legolas could see himself. He was wearing a light green dress, with lace covering the collar. His breasts were pushed so far upwards that he almost swore that he could touch them with his forehead. Once light pink lips were now the brightest shade of red he had ever seen, and his eyelids were sky blue. Atop his head was a pink bow. A giant floppy pink bow. He was going to kill them.  
  
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE VALAR AM I WEARING?!" Breathing heavily, Legolas laid murderous eyes on both of the twins. Behind him he could clearly hear Aragorn snickering.  
  
"Well, you look.....pretty like that." Elrohir grinned.  
  
"PRETTY?! I'LL SHOW YOU PRETTY!" Legolas pulled against the bonds, trying to break loose.  
  
"Now Greenleaf, we're only trying to help. Ada gave us the dress to use, he said it would match your eyes." Elladan grinned again.  
  
"Death...bow...arrows...blood....murder......_pretty_.....revenge...." Legolas rambled, his breathing hitched and fast.  
  
Elladan's eyes took on a slightly worried look, as did Elrohir's.  
  
"Right. Well, we'll uh...let the maid cut you loose. 'Ro, Aragorn...let's go shopping!"  
  
The two nodded and they walked out of the room, talking excitedly.  
  
Legolas glared as they left, swearing revenge. He'd show them "pretty".  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The maid to the Last Homely House hummed happily as she dusted the hallway, leading to one of the guest bedrooms. Knocking slightly and receiving no answer, she opened the door. Stopping in her tracks, she gasped slightly.  
  
Before her was Legolas Thranduilion, Prince of Mirkwood, and the best archer in perhaps all of Middle Earth. Tied to a chair. With boobs. Frowning slightly, she pouted when she noticed they were bigger than her own.  
  
What was even more alarming was that he seemed to be talking to himself, and hadn't even noticed her entrance. Leaning forward, the she-elf was able to make out the whispered words.  
  
"Must die.....kill them...torture........whips.........pointy objects.......blood......revenge paid......bonnets........water........axes..."  
  
"Umm....Master Legolas?" She asked. Receiving no answer, she tried again. "Master Legolas?"  
  
The prince blinked and looked up at her.  
  
"Yes?" He kept his expression neutral.  
  
"Why are you tied to a chair?" The maid had to stifle a chuckle.  
  
"I am unfortunately the butt of another obscene prank from the twins. If you would be so kind as to untie me?" He asked.  
  
She nodded and did so. Legolas thanked her before shoving her out of the room and ripping the dress off. Rushing to the water basin, he scrubbed at his face.  
  
'Just wait,' He thought. 'They're gonna get it.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Elrond smiled as he pranced through his garden. Today was a beautiful day. His dress brushed the edge of the grass and the heels of his shoes clicked on the stone path. He felt like.....singing.  
  
"Oh today is a wonderful daaaayyyyyy, so won't you come out and saaayyyy, that you love me." His voice floated through the trees and into the ears of two elves who were walking past.  
  
"Isn't that Lord Elrond?!" One of them blinked.  
  
"Can't be...that's a female. Maybe he has a sister or something?"  
  
"Maybe. That does look a lot like Lord Elrond though."  
  
"Either way, it's none of our business. Come on, lets go before he....she sees us."  
  
"Right."  
  
Lord Elrond, who was now twirling around singing at the top of his lungs, never noticed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Aragorn smiled as he and his brothers walked back to their rooms. They had had fun shopping, and decided to do it again tomorrow. For now, Aragorn wanted to try on the new dresses he had just gotten.  
  
"Hello."  
  
The three of them stopped at the cold voice coming from the doorway. There was Legolas, clad in his normal green tunic, with a bow pointed at them.  
  
"LEGOLAS! How er.....great to see you......"  
  
"I'm sure. The pleasure is all.....mine...." A cold smile found it's way to the lips of the Mirkwood elf.  
  
Aragorn gulped. 'Oh shit.'  
  
Legolas stepped backwards and threw a bag similar to the one the twins had used on him onto the floor. A thick pink smoke rose into the air, causing the three brothers to start coughing.  
  
"See you in the morning....sleeping beauties." Legolas smirked as they passed out.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
_Okay, so, sorry if it's not up to my usual standard. I've kind of.....lost interest in this one. The reason I really don't write long fics. ;) Two chapters to go though! I'm accepting ideas on the next chapter, as my muse has left me. *sigh*_  
  
**Reviews** - **goblz** - Hell, *I* don't know where I come up with this stuff. LOL. Glad you like it though.  
  
**Mellon** - Hitting on one of the guards? Hmmm....*gets an idea* I might use that in the last chapter. *grins* So glad it got that kind of...reaction. *cough* LMAO.  
  
**Hellga** - Thanks for the hug, definitely need it. LOL! And yes, I've been wondering about that myself. *shakes head* Am glad I live in the present instead of the past for that very reason. ;)  
  
**Crimson Starlight** - Great huh? Well, I'm hoping this chapter is great also. For some reason, my muse has died. I think. It's not moving at all. Hence the reason it takes me so long to update this fic. LOL. Glad you like it though.  
  
**Videl-14** - Tell me about it. I will *never* wax again. In my opinion, it's similar to using duck tape. Very painful. My poor legs can't stand it. I'll stick with my Venus razor, LMAO.  
  
**Insane Muse** - If only guys could really be girls for a day, eh? LMAO. Although I do remember a time my friends dad passed out and we decided his legs were a bit too hairy. *cackles* *ahem*  
  
**Imbefaniel** - You're gonna draw that??? Wow, if you do, I definitely would love to see it! LOL! I find some female characters easy to write, but men are just so plain. Plus the only thing I really do with guys is torture them. Go figure. ;)  
  
**Hex Of The Unseelie** - I've seen Hugo Weaving in a dress, so the image of Elrond in a dress is absolutely hilarious to me. LOL. :D  
  
**MoroTheWolfGod** - More you say? LOL. Well here it is! Not much though, but better than nothing. The waxing, meh, will feel sorry for them when it grows back. LOL.  
  
**person named bob** - I dunno, I might have Legolas crack in the next chapter. *Shrugs* That would be funny..*goes off plotting ideas*  
  
**oogle-boogle** - Oogle-boogle dance? Is that anything like the Smeagol dance? ;) And yeah, as my mom said, men are wimps when it comes to pain. *Grins*  
  
**Alida-Fruit** - LOL, *shakes head* I'm glad I'm not in public school anymore. Some of these images would have my teachers thinking I'm on drugs or something. Meh. And I actually got the knitting thing from myself. I can't knit at all. LOL.  
  
**Estel Yurewen** - There's that "genius" thing again, LMAO. Glad you like it though! :D  
  
**Zoya** - Caps...oooo. *cough* This isn't exactly "soon" but hey, it's here. LOL. I would have had Legolas being the wimp, but, I wanted Aragorn to suffer. Badly. *sigh* Cannot help it if I'm evil. ;)  
  
**Amadrieclya** - Ooo forgot their underarms. Oh well. They were screaming anyway. LOL. I would hate it for any women out there waxing anyway, it's painful. Meh. *shudders*  
  
**Mellygwen** - LOL glad you like it so much! :D Here's another update for ya then! :D  
  
**elmo44449999** - Even though this is AU, I'm trying to keep it as close to ME as possible. True, all that would definitely be funny, but I'm not gonna swing out that much for it. Thanks for the suggestions tho.  
  
**LegyLuva** - Anyone would *think* I've gone mad? LMAO. I *am* mad. *grin* I've been acused (by many people) of being evil, rotten, brilliant, genius, crazy, a nut, and more things that venture into the "R" rating. LMAO.  
  
**Rinturien** - I'm so glad you enjoy my works! Personally don't see what everybody sees in them, they all suck in my opinion. LOL.  
  
**Kasandra** - Yup. :D Something *has* happened to Legolas anyway. ;) *Points to above chapter*  
  
**bry** - *hands bry a cushion* For the next time you fall out of your chair. ;) Glad you like it!  
  
_*GASP* *DIE* Okay, now that I've hopefully answered all of your reviews (and glued my fingers back on) I'll see about plotting the next chapter. If I have left you out - Sorry, and thanks so much for reviewing. Two chapters to go!_


	7. Chapter Seven

** Title: Of Arrows and Curses  
  
Author: TrinityTheSheDevil  
  
Rating: PG 13-ish  
  
Summary: This story is MOST DEFINITELY AU. For one: Elrond doesn't have a wife in this fic. Nada attachments. :D And two: nothing that happens in this fic could possibly happen in a real LOTR universe! LOL. Okay, on with summary. Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas all go on a hunting trip. When something goes wrong, they manage to tick off a wizard, and have a curse put upon them! Will they survive?  
  
Archive: Just ask!! :D  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTRs. I own ~nothing~. Although I really wish I did. REALLY wishing I did. Perhaps I could buy Aragorn from Tolkien? *pout* Or not.   
  
Thanks to Zimbing who helped me with the curse in chapter two! :) Bunches of thanks to my beta, Karine, especially for helping me with this chapter! :D  
  
A/N: Uhm. I haven't updated in quite a while, it seems. *eyes shift* Half a year, I think. *twitch* *ahem* Well. Here it is! Eh heh. LOL.   
  
Not quite happy with this chapter, but it's better than nothing, haha! Enjoy.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Day Seven**  
  
Elladan slowly woke, a crick in his neck from the awkward position he had been in the whole night. Moving his hand to rub at the tensed muscles, he realized a very important thing ... he was tied up. To a chair. In Legolas' room.   
  
Eyes shifting, he looked beside him and saw Elrohir and Aragorn in the same position. Aragorn had a slightly terrified look on his face, and the young human's breathing was faster than normal.   
  
Looking in front of him, Elladan could see why. Legolas straddled a chair, facing the three of them, with murder in his eyes. His lips moved, whispering words that even the twins could not hear, but every so often Legolas' voice would raise ever-so-slightly and they could catch words like "death", "eye poking", and "revenge". Add to that, the high pitched cackle Legolas let out every so often, it was no wonder the three of them were scared out of their wits.   
  
Risking quite possibly life and limb, Elladan cleared his throat, catching the attention of the Mirkwood elf.   
  
Legolas' eyes shifted and the words stopped. "Yes, Elladan?"   
  
"Uhm ... Legolas ... mellon nin!" Elladan paused as Legolas' eye twitched, then continued in a shaky breath. "What ... er ... what are we doing here? Not that I don't like your room, it's a lovely room and all, one of the best in Rivendell ... but ... why are we tied up?"   
  
Elladan wanted to smack himself for asking that, for as soon as the words left his mouth, Legolas smoothly stood up.   
  
"Why are you tied up?" Legolas' voice was lethal. "He wants to know why they're tied up! Of all the things! The nerve! The audacity! The balls!" Legolas grinned suddenly. "Ohh, balls. Perhaps wee little Elladan would like a vasectomy? Drats, no, he doesn't *have* balls now."   
  
Elladan looked very thankful for that. Elrohir had to admit, when the word "vasectomy" came up, Elladan had lost all color in his face, then turned an alarming shade of green.   
  
"Hmmm, revenge, revenge, revenge. There must be a way I can get them back." Legolas trailed off, pacing around the room for a bit. Aragorn was left staring at his crotch, occasionally mumbling, "Thank you Elbereth, thank you Elbereth, no vasectomy, no vasectomy."   
  
Thirty minutes later, Legolas stopped dead in his tracks. An awfully evil, spine tingling, bone chilling grin crept onto his face. All three of the tied up beings gulped quite audibly. Without saying a word, Legolas flew from the room, laughing madly to himself.   
  
"Dear Elbereth, I know I've been bad in my life, but if it isn't too much to ask, could you perhaps send down a little hel-" Aragorn was cut off from his prayer as Elrohir kicked him in the shin.   
  
"Ow! What was that for?!"   
  
"You're being a prat. Now shut up and let me think of how to get out of here before Legolas dismembers us, or worst."   
  
"What could be worst than-"   
  
"DON'T EVEN SAY IT! I swear, Aragorn, if you tempt fate one more time, I am going to kick your butt from here to Mordor."   
  
Aragorn's pout had barely formed when Legolas entered the room again, carrying a rather large box. Laying it on the floor, he unlocked it, pulling out several smaller boxes full of ... face paint. Elrohir's eyebrows rose.   
  
One handedly swiping a few of the brushes from the box, Legolas turned around, and grabbed a small - but very sharp - knife with the other. Gone was the look of murder upon his fair face; instead, it was replaced with a vision of pure madness.   
  
"I think Aragorn shall be first, since he is the one who got us into this mess." Legolas chuckled and moved closer. He held the knife threateningly. "Will you obey me, or will I have to make you?"   
  
"I'll obey!" Aragorn squeaked.   
  
"Good!" Legolas threw the knife down and gently grabbed Aragorn's chin, moving his face upwards. He began attacking the skin with the face-paint, leaving hardly any of it untouched. Every few moments he would utter something like, "look up", "look down", or "poke out your lips."   
  
When he was finally done, he quickly turned Aragorn's chair around so that the other two in the room could not see his face, and without pause, did the same to Elladan and Elrohir. Finally finished an hour later, he stood up, grinning madly.   
  
"I don't see how this is going to affect us, Legolas, as we already put face-paint on anyway." Elrohir said quietly.   
  
At this, Legolas gave a loud snort, followed by several not-quite-suppressed snickers. "Just wait until you see yourselves." He said cryptically.   
  
Legolas turned around, walking to the dresser next to his window to get the small mirror. As he passed by the window, he absent-mindedly looked out, then did a double-take.   
  
Outside, on the grass in the garden, was none other than Elrond Pheredhil, sunbathing. Naked. With several of the guards hiding in the bushes peaking at him.   
  
Legolas gave a long shudder, wishing for some long object to stab his eyes out with. Forcing himself to forget the image and not lose the contents of his stomach, he quickly spun around, turning back to the others.   
  
"Behold!" Legolas brought forth the mirror. "Your new images!" He turned them all around, letting them each look in the mirror.   
  
Three matching screams were heard echoing through Elrond's home.   
  
"BLUE DOES NOT GO WITH ORANGE!" Aragorn's eyes were as wide as saucers and his voice was quickly followed by Elrohir's.   
  
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ARDA IS *THAT*?! NOTHING SHOULD BE THAT BRIGHT OF A RED!"   
  
And of course, Elladan's, "I think I'm going to faint."   
  
Legolas laughed. "I'm not done yet."   
  
"Not ... not done yet?! How can you NOT be done?! Valar, kill me, please." Elrohir muttered.   
  
Legolas reached behind him, picking up a long and wicked looking needle. "I think several people need earrings."   
  
"Earrings?! Legolas, my friend, my brother, please, don't do anything rash!" Aragorn quickly spoke up. "I am sorry, truly, for what we did to you.   
  
"Oh be quiet you big baby. It won't hurt." Legolas paused, then amended. "Much."   
  
"I think I hate you." Aragorn could feel the blood rushing to his head as the room tilted. He suddenly noticed how large the needle looked.   
  
As Legolas advanced on the now whimpering Aragorn, Elrohir's foot edged towards the knife that had been discarded on the floor. Legolas' attention was focused on holding Aragorn's head still, and he paid no attention to the other two in the room. Closer and closer Elrohir's foot moved, until ... YES!   
  
'Got it!' He thought, then dragged the knife over. He strained and reached down until he could grasp it with his fingers, then made quick work of the rope holding him to the chair.   
  
Moving his eyes back up, he saw that Aragorn now had two matching white studs, one in each ear. The human looked as if he were about to hurl.   
  
"Done." Legolas remarked, then grabbed another needle from the desk nearby. "Elrohir, I think it's your turn now."   
  
When Legolas got close enough, Elrohir sprang. His fist moved forwards, smacking into Legolas' jaw with enough force to send him sprawling on the floor in a daze. Moving quickly now, Elrohir cut the other's bonds, yanking Aragorn up and running from the room.   
  
"Come, we must hide before he finds his bow!"   
  
The three ran out of the home of Elrond and into the tree line, a trail of dust left in their wake.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   
  
"I can't believe he pierced my ears. I just can't believe it. I mean, look at me! I have two holes in me that are, for once, NOT caused by orcs!"   
  
"Oh get over it." Elrohir snapped, glaring at Aragorn. "If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be IN this mess."   
  
Aragorn stuck his tongue out, leaning against the tree trunk. He looked out over the grounds. It was nearly completely dark now, and the only light they had was the light of the moon. They had been in the trees all day, with no food, water, or ... Aragorn snickered, any form of relief. Which had been quite funny earlier, watching Elladan accidentally relieve himself on a bird, who did not like the sudden shower, and attacked the elf's head with a fury.   
  
Although, going a day without food was wearing on the younger man, and he had taken to nibbling on leaves. It wasn't so bad, really, once you got over the taste of it.   
  
Throughout the day, they had watched Legolas prowl around Rivendell, searching for them. After watching him attack one of the guards who had the misfortune to get in his way, the three decided the trees were a much safer place to reside until the curse wore off. If the curse wore off at all, that was.   
  
"Who is taking watch tonight?" Elladan suddenly asked, looking up from his perch.   
  
"I think I will. I trust neither of you with my safety at this moment." Elrohir said crisply, settling himself down on a higher branch. "You two go to sleep. I'll wake you when morning comes."   
  
No complaints were heard, for once, and Aragorn stretched himself out, lying back on a branch. Elladan did likewise, falling into elven slumber.   
  
And so, tomorrow was another day. One that would hopefully be a *better* day.   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
**TBC...  
  
*gasp, wheeze, die* One chapter left. Thank the Valar. LOL!**  
  
**Reviews!**:  
  
**Happy Molecule** - LOL! Well, one more (short) chapter and it will be done! Hope you like it!  
**Bry** - LMAO! Elrond! *flying tackles him* LOL! Well ... this update wasn't exactly *soon* but it was updated! Go me! Hahaha!  
**Dae** - Hahahaha! I assume you like it then?? *g* Here is the update. *snickers*   
**Sabrina** - LOL really? I can't be held responsible for cracking people up. I don't have the money to pay their doctor bills. *wink* Glad you like it.  
**Actresschikmoiinimladris** - Nice name, LOL. Thanks, and hope you like this and the last chapter, whenever I put that one up too. :-)  
**Larien** - One of your favs? I did not know it was *That* good, LOL. Glad you like it! :-)  
**Estel Elven Enchantress** - Sorry, sorry. I kind of fell off the face of the earth for a while, LOL. But, it's updated, and do not fear, I have started on the last chapter already! It may be up sometime this week! :-)  
**Lolly** - O.o *sends Glorfindel to revive the fainted Lolly, smacks him when he hesitates* LOL. Thanks, and happy to know you like it! :-)  
**Dae** - *blinks* *blinks again* Okay. Obviously you reviewed this twice. *blinks again* LOL! Sorry for not updating in so long, haha, real life sucks.  
**Mags** - Forever? Uhmmm.... well half a year. *grins sheepishly* Hope this chapter is up to par with the rest, LOL.  
**Nym** - Haldir!!! *lets go of Elrond, glomps him* mmmm *drools on his tunic, watches as his eyes narrow in disgust* Hahaha! Good to know that you enjoy the fic! :D  
**Shauna** - You fell off your chair three times?!?!?! Eep. I hope you had a cushion down there, haha! And that's okay, at least you did manage to review, LOL. Glad you like it! :)  
**Bry** - *eyelids collapse from blinking so much* Wow, you reviewed twice! LOL! I'm glad you like it that much, and here's the next update, haha!  
**Alida-Fruit** - hahahaha, thanks for the review! :-) Yes, Poor Legolas. *shakes head* He will forever be traumatized. *g*  
**Amananduniel Black** - LOL I hope I typed your name right, as it's 3:18 AM and my eyes are crossing! LOL! Thank you for the review, hope you enjoyed this chapter too!  
**Christy The Badger** - Thank you, and sorry for the long(er) wait. Hope you still like it! LOL!  
**LegyLuva** - Oh, yup, I'm just friggin insane, haha. At least that is what the voices tell me, LOL. Glad you are enjoying the fic.  
**Amadrieclya** - Hooters uniforms?! ROTFL!!!!!! I will never, ever, ever look at Hooters the same way again! *falls down laughing*!!!!!  
**Happy Molecule** - ......Okay, you are like, the third person I've noticed who has reviewed twice, LOL! It shows me how long I have gone without updating this. Meep! LOL. Sorry for the wait, haha.  
**Ash49** - Thranduil??? Hmmmmm....ideas for last chapter. maybe. I dunno where the last chapter is going at the moment, LOL! Glad you like it though.  
**Hikaris** - A twist??? Hmm. It's possible. I will give it some thought, LOL! :-)  
**Hex of the Unseelie** - Don't ever do that again??? Errr....eh heh. *eyes shift* Sorry, truly I am. Real life has been very hectic, and...well...I'm a naturally lazy person, LOL. And yes, Hugo in a dress. I think the movie is Prisilla, Queen of the Desert, or something like that. The picture is on CouncilofElrond.com somewhere, LOL. Glad you like the fic. :-)  
**Imbefaniel** - LOL she sounds like an intriguing character. *blinks* I have butchered that word. LOL. I guess sleep IS needed for proper thinking, haha. Anyway, glad you like it all, and hope you like this chapter too.  
**Videl-14** - Yeah, they definitely deserved it. LOL. And actually, I saw PotC on the opening day. Which was...a long time ago...LOL. I have the DVD now, love it. :-)  
**Mellon1** - Well, I guess by now you've read that, LOL. Poor them, eh? Haha.  
**PipHobbit** - Well, even if I *do* lose all interest in this fic, I'm going to finish it whether I like it or not. I'm not one to leave a fic just...hanging there...LOL. Glad you like it though! :-)  
**MoroTheWolfGod** - Hahahah! Glad you like it and hope you enjoyed this chapter too! :-)  
**Coreinha** - LMAO Cor, you are evil. ;-) But that's what is good about you, hahahaha!  
**Iawen Londea** - His head isn't exactly on straight *now*. I think he's lost it, quite literally. Poor guy. LMAO.  
  
Well, that's all for now folks, I hope to have the last chapter out within the week if all goes well! :-) 


	8. Chapter Eight

** Title: Of Arrows and Curses  
Author: TrinityTheSheDevil  
Rating: PG 13-ish  
Summary: This story is MOST DEFINITELY AU. For one: Elrond doesn't have a wife in this fic. Nada attachments. :D And two: nothing that happens in this fic could possibly happen in a real LOTR universe! LOL. Okay, on with summary. Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas all go on a hunting trip. When something goes wrong, they manage to tick off a wizard, and have a curse put upon them! Will they survive?  
Archive: Just ask!! :D  
Disclaimer: I don't own LOTRs. I own ~nothing~. Although I really wish I did. REALLY wishing I did. Perhaps I could buy Aragorn from Tolkien? *pout* Or not.   
  
Thank go to: Rhonda, who read over parts of it and told me if it sucked or not. Kar, my wonderful beta, who also gave me the scenes for the very end. And the people who actually read/like the fic! :-)  
  
A/N: Dear god, it's DONE! DONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONE!!!!!! *ahem* Slightly ... lost it now ... but that's okay! One less fic to worry about! :D LMAO.  
  
NOW, on with the chapter!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Day Eight**  
  
Aragorn mumbled to himself as he woke, wondering why his bed was so hard. Rolling over to find a better position, he gasped as he realized he wasn't *in* his bed. He was in a tree. The keyword being *was*. And falling out of a tree the first thing in the morning is not high on to-do list.  
  
Hitting the ground rather hard, he groaned out loud, shaking the fuzziness from his brain. Stiffly standing back up, he brushed the dirt and leaves from his shirt, and figured out ... he had no boobs. His boobs were gone. He suddenly felt very happy, yet very sad at the same time.  
  
"WOOHOO! I'M FREE!" Elladan screamed, jumping from the tree.  
  
Aragorn rolled his eyes. "There is still that matter of ... our reputation. Elbereth, I'm glad we did not do anything really ... drastic." He fingered the holes in his ears, taking the studs out. "And remind me to kill Legolas."  
  
"Sure thing, brother." Elrohir snickered, then looked at Aragorn's face. He paused, then started to choke.  
  
" Uh ... 'Ro? Are you okay?" Elladan asked worriedly.  
  
"F-f-face paint!" Elrohir snorted, falling back on his arse laughing uproariously.  
  
With a raised eyebrow, Elladan looked at Aragorn, then back to his brother. He shook his head. "Come, you two. I can only imagine what image the three of us look like. Let's go wash this off before anybody else sees us."  
  
Grabbing Elrohir by the scruff of the neck, Elladan dragged him out of the woods and towards their home. As they passed one of the many walkways leading out of Rivendell, they caught sight of a very familiar blonde head, walking towards the gate.  
  
"Legolas?" Aragorn moved in front of his friend, stopping the Mirkwood elf's walking.  
  
"Hello, Aragorn." Legolas said in a very flat voice.  
  
"Are you okay, mellon nin? You look ... off." Aragorn did not know how, as Legolas was dressed in his usual clothing. He also had several weeks of supplies on his back.  
  
"I'm fine, Aragorn. I'm just going on a very long vacation." Legolas replied in the same tone.  
  
"A vacation. Where are you going, exactly?" Aragorn's eyebrows rose.  
  
"I don't know, really. Somewhere where there are no females. Perhaps I can go join the Ents in Fangorn ... or maybe the dwarves." Legolas blinked, then scowled. "No, I'll be in Fangorn."  
  
Aragorn laughed. "Well, have fun, my friend."  
  
Legolas nodded, muttering something about "solitude", then left without another word. Aragorn stared at the retreating back, wondering if Legolas still harbored any ill feelings towards him or his brothers. After about ten seconds of contemplation, he decided that yes, the elf probably still would like to see their innards hung from a flag pole in the courtyard.  
  
Aragorn yawned, heading in the home of his father to wash and catch a good nap. He had not slept properly since this whole ordeal began. As he strolled through the hall, he stopped by a balcony, hearing a very familiar voice.  
  
"Elladan, Elrohir." Glorfindel said from below the balcony. Aragorn grinned, leaning over the stone to hear better.  
  
"Glorfindel." Elladan sighed.  
  
There was a heavy pause, then,  
  
"I trust the curse is gone?" For a moment, Aragorn thought, it sounded as if Glorfindel's tone was ... nervous. Surely not, though. Not from the legendary balrog slayer...  
  
"Alas, Glorfindel, we have been cursed for the rest of our existence here in Middle Earth! It makes us weep-"  
  
"Yes, weep," Elrohir added, sounding a bit choked up.  
  
"-with sorrow."  
  
"I-i-it's not gone?!" Aragorn smirked to himself. The blonde elf now sounded positively panicked.  
  
"No, Glorfindel, it's not." Aragorn heard a loud sniff. He had to hand it to them, the twins were laying it on thick.  
  
"Imagine that. Well," Glorfindel continued, "I have received a summons from Lady Galadriel. She needs ... uhm ... something. Tell your father I will be back ... sometime. Farewell!" Aragorn saw a flash of blonde hair, then was greeted to the sight of a horse galloping out of Rivendell at top speed. Once Glorfindel was out of hearing range, the twins started snickering to themselves, congratulating each other profusely.  
  
Rolling his eyes, the young human continued on his trek to his room, determined not to let anything stop him. He was, however, deterred once again as he saw Erestor knocking on Elrond's door.  
  
"Is something wrong, Erestor?" Aragorn frowned.  
  
"Your ada has locked himself in his room. He refuses to come out and threatens me with death of the worst kind should I force the door open. There's also a guard downstairs - a male guard - convinced that he has a date with Lord Elrond tonight."  
  
Aragorn opened his mouth to say something, then slammed it shut. Shuffling forward and leaning tiredly against the door, Aragorn banged on it (with his head).  
  
"Ada! You can come out now!"  
  
"No. I am *never* coming out. Ever. Go away."  
  
"Fine. Stay in there! See if I-" Aragorn was cut off as a bird flew through a nearby window, hitting him in the face. He coughed, sputtering a few times, and spit out several large feathers. The bird cawed, glaring at him as if to say "that was your fault!".  
  
"Evil animals." Aragorn muttered, eyeing the letter attached to the bird's foot. Maybe, just maybe, if he walked away fast enough-  
  
"Are you going to read that?" Erestor asked, taking the letter from the impatient bird. The small animal cawed once more before flapping madly, pecking at Estel's head as he flew off.  
  
Aragorn grumbled to himself as Erestor unfolded the letter, skimming over it. He waited for the inevitable explosion, then-  
  
"Lord Elrond! There's a letter for you, signed The White Wizard!"  
  
Faster than Aragorn could blink, the door was thrown open and he fell through it, landing in a heap at Elrond's feet. Rubbing his backside as he stood up, he groaned. Elrond looked like a wreck. His hair was sticking everywhere, there were bags under his eyes, and Aragorn could have sworn he saw a grey hair or two.  
  
Moments later, Elrond flung the letter to the floor (where Aragorn noted, the effect was lost as the paper floated gently to the stone underfoot) and stormed back into his room. He slammed the door with enough force to rattle the nearby trees; it stopped just inches away from hitting Estel in the head.  
  
"The first person that bothers me shall be used for a target the next time Glorfindel is furious!" Elrond's yell was followed by a crash, and lots of cursing.  
  
Aragorn growled, annoyed with the whole situation. His eyes trailed to the letter and, after telling himself it was a mistake, he picked it up. Aragorn read:  
  
_"Elrond, 'Lord' of Rivendell,  
  
So, the curse is gone! I ... dearly ... hope you haven't completely alienated yourself from the whole of Rivendell. Being female for a week was complicated, I'm sure. Maybe now your sons have learned to respect their elders, and if not, I'm sure another punishment can be arranged!  
  
I have been thinking of vacationing in Rivendell; I'm sure that you won't mind. You'd never notice me. I may be there next spring, with a few friends.  
  
Hope you are able to get your life back to normal, if possible!   
  
Namaarie,  
The White Wizard"_  
  
He slowly folded the note, slipping it under his father's door. Without a word, he calmly walked past Erestor, who stared dumbfounded at Elrond's bedroom.  
  
The elf blinked, turning around. "Estel! Where are you going?"  
  
"To my room, to rest for the night and pack. Then, I'm going into the Wild to join my fellow Rangers. I may be back in a few years."  
  
Erestor stood there for a moment, then started laughing. "For a moment there, I thought you were serious! As if you would really leave me alone with him!" Aragorn winced as he let out a high pitched giggle.  
  
Noticing the look on the human's face, Erestor abruptly stopped laughing. "Wait! You are kidding, right?"  
  
Aragorn looked away, shrugging to himself. "Well, my brothers are staying..."  
  
Aragorn ignored the terrified expression that blossomed on Erestor's face, and continued.  
  
"Nevermind. You're a grown elf, completely capable of taking care of yourself." Aragorn cut Erestor off as the elf opened his mouth to speak. "And no, you can't take a vacation right now. With Glorfindel in Lothlorien - for a long time, I might add - and my ada missing his sanity, Rivendell would fall into the hands of the twins. That would be disastrous, to say in the least. No, my friend, you must stay, and take care of Imladris." Aragorn clapped him on the shoulder, almost sending the elf to the floor.  
  
Then with a cheerful "Namaarie", Aragorn rushed to his room. He had the feeling that he would not be back in Rivendell for a long, long time.  
  
**Yeah, the end was a bit rushed, but oh well! It's done! LOL! Hope you all enjoyed it! I did enjoy it somewhat, even though it got a bit long and drawn out near the end, LOL. *hugs readers* Thanks for the great reviews!**  
  
**Reviews!**:  
  
**Hiei-Rulez** - LMAO! Yes, sunbathing Elrond is a very twisted disturbing mental image. Haha! And *stares at Aragorn, Legolas, Elrond, and the twins* Aren't you guys supposed to be suffering somewhere? *g* Yes! I agree! The squirrels are EVIL! LOL!  
**Actresschikmoiinimladris** - Thank you! I'm glad you like it! :-)  
**Dae** - No, I did not forget about you, haha! I just got busy with other things that ... weren't really more important but they caused my writing to slack up. Haha. Chaos? *g* I love chaos! LOL! Cause lots of it and be evil!! >:-)  
**Tribalbutterfly** - The *funniest* you've *ever* read? *blinks slowly* LOL! Thank you, even though the talent is used for other and slightly more disturbing things most of the time. ;) And yes, I've always wanted to look at a male and go "why don't YOU grow boobs for once!" and snap my fingers, and make it happen. *sigh* If only they could really feel the pain ...  
**SilverKnight7** - Update? Alrighty, here ya go, haha! :-)  
**Lyn** - *shrug* It's an AU fanfic, anything can happen, haha! And thanks for the info on vasectomys, even though it's a bit more than I actually ever wanted to know, LOL. I do not claim to be a doctor, so most of the medical things in my fics are inaccurate. I got the idea of a vasectomy from "Whose Line Is It Anyway", when one of them were singing "vasectomy, vasectomy, snip snip snip!". *g* Thanks for the review!  
**Christy the Badger** - Died? No, I don't think the world is that lucky, LOL. Hope you enjoyed the fic! :-)  
**aquitaineq** - Thank you! :-D I did have plans for Legolas doing just that, but decided to switch it all around at the last moment. *sigh* Oh well ... there's always room for a sequel ... *winces* ... *ahem* forget I said that, haha!  
**Bry** - LOL! *amusedly watches Bry dance around* And thank you! :-) Glad you think it's awesome. *watches Elrond* So that's where he is when I'm not writing ... huh. And all this time I thought he was perfecting his bullet-time moves. ;) LMAO at the review! :-D *hug* So glad you like the fic! :D  
**DragonFire30** - Eep! *dodges the lunge* LOL! So glad that you like it!!!! :-D  
**Coolio02** - *chuckles at the "O.o"* Happy to know you enjoyed it! :D And I hope this is soon enough, haha!  
**Little-lost-one** - Thanks for the review! Here's the last chapter! :-D  
**Dark Angel 4523** - Yeah. I think if I were turned into a male I'd be going a little more than nutzo. (Excuse the pun, haha!) Glad you like it though! :)  
**LegyLuva** - Well you didn't have to wait as long as last time for an update, I'll give you that, haha! Yeah, Aragorn with pierced ears is funny. *snicker* >:)  
**Shauna** - *watches as Shauna dies* EEP! *looks at lawyers* GAH! *has Legolas revive her*  
Legolas: You want me to do what?...  
Trin: Revive her!! *looks frantically at lawyers* NOW!  
Legolas: Why should I? Why should I possibly do anything for you after all you put me-  
Trin: Does the word "sequel" mean anything to you?!  
Legolas: ...........right *revives Shauna*  
*snicker, ahem* Glad you like it so much!!!!!!! :-) And yeah, poor guys, curse has worn off and they're all missing sanity! LMAO!  
**Insane Elven Pirate** - Glad you love it! And I hope this is soon enough! :-) Thanks for the review! :D  
**Elrohir Lover** - Yesssssss, I love evil. Evil is just ... me. LOL. Glad you like it!  
**Estel Elven Enchantress** - LMAO! Glad you like it so much!!!!! :-) And yes, Poor Aragorn! Poor all of them, haha! And *does a jig* I know, I'll never have to update this again. Haha. The thought is elating yet saddening at the same time. ;) That's what I call "mixed emotions". LMAO. Thanks for the review and glad you like it!  
  
_Well, that's all for this fic! If you like this last chapter any at all, I'm still accepting reviews. *Wink wink* Thanks for sticking with me in the lack-of-updates period, and I am glad I got so many good responses from this fic! Thank you ALL! *hugs and cookies to everybody* Well, until the next fic I guess, haha! *flies off into the horizon*_


End file.
